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Generations pass on funny stories and family myths without really trying. That’s not what I’m talking about.
The truth is perishable. You lose it if you don’t take time to seriously record the memories of your elders. Heirlooms become junk without their history and the people in old family photos become anonymous strangers without names and relationships attached.
Having assisted with various autobiographies and advised many people, I have some rules for how to do this right.
1. Don’t wait
Making the ask can tough, but if you wait until your elder is in declining health, it’s tougher. At that point a morbid cloud can hang over the project. And if you wait until a failing memory is evident, some of the information will already be lost.
Make your recordings before advanced old age, during vigorous 70s or early 80s. And don’t say your goal is to save the information, but that you want to know your own history.
2. Take it seriously
Listening to an elder’s great stories is fun, but that’s not what this project is about. The goal is to capture true information—not exaggerations or cute anecdotes—completing your family’s story so it makes sense. You need to ask questions systematically, nailing down the name of each person in previous generations, the facts about them, their appearance and personality, and the major events in their lives. This information may otherwise disappear.
3. Focus on time and place
Organizing our memories is difficult. The easiest way to bring back the past is to link memories together. Often remembering a house or another special place can connect a constellation of images and facts. Also use chronology, following people through time, to revive memories and put them in meaningful context.
4. Make a video with photos or keepsakes
Film an elder going through an old photo album or walking around the house explaining where treasured items came from and what they mean. You will be saving these items’ value and the process can prime the elder’s memory.
5. Do it one-on-one
Group interviews don’t work. You need control to gather your facts and, if you want the truth, you need to put your informant in a mental space not of entertaining and conversing, but of recalling and speaking accurately. When more than one person speaks, that mood can quickly break down.
6. Save the information in diverse media and places
You can get reasonable quality with a smart phone, but then transcribe the material using an automatic service such as Trint or Otter and print it out. Save the audio or video in more than one place, ideally sending copies to other family members.
After a decade, computer formats and devices change and you may forget where you put the material. Sooner than you think, someone younger will want to interview you. At that point, you will want someone else responsible for the recordings you made of your own elders.
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